The Hidden Meadow
by flutegirl.anita
Summary: Rachel notices something is amiss with Buck and meets someone unexpected while trying to find out what.


**A/N This was written for the Writer's Ranch Unexplored Love Challenge. I fell in love with a story Nesciri wrote called Family Affair...which I think is still unfinished...But I really liked the pairing in that story as far as I know no one else has done it, so this is my take.**

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Rachel yawned as she padded her way to the kitchen. She stopped in front of the cupboard and paused when she grabbed the handle. If the leftover biscuits from last night's dinner were gone again, she was going to string Cody up by his boots. Of course she couldn't prove it was him, but she felt pretty confident in her assumption. She slowly opened the cupboard door and peered inside. Slamming the cupboard door, Rachel was quickly out of the house and on her way to the bunkhouse. She stopped outside the door and paced a few times. The boys weren't awake yet and she couldn't in good conscience wake them all up just to yell at Cody. Her attention was pulled away from the bunkhouse as she heard the familiar sounds of a horse walking into the station. It was still dark and they weren't expecting any riders at this hour. Rachel walked down the porch and saw as Buck led his horse into the barn. That was odd. Dawn was just about to break, so it was unlikely that he was praying. He usually returned after the sun was already up when that was the case. Rachel decided that some things weren't adding up right and she needed to do some more investigating. She went back into the house and watched as Buck very deliberately snuck into the bunkhouse. There was a story there and Rachel wasn't going to rest until she figured out what it was.

All day Buck tried to seem normal, but Rachel could tell he was anything but. He looked very tired and his reflexes were slightly slower than normal as he went through his morning chores. Life on a river boat had taught her many things and reading the body language of men was one of them. Buck didn't eat much at lunch or dinner and he volunteered to do the dishes. That was the third night this week, Rachel noted. Something was definitely up with Buck. She decided the best thing to do was just ask what it was. She walked up to the kitchen and knocked on the door jamb to reveal her presence. She had a feeling Buck already knew she was there, but she knocked anyway.

"Hey, you want some help?" Rachel asked.

"I'm almost done," Buck replied.

Rachel looked over and it seemed that Buck was hiding something behind his back. Rachel couldn't see what it was, but it just added to her suspicion.

"Buck, is everything alright?" Rachel asked. "I mean, you've been a little distant today and you hardly ate a thing at supper."

"I'm fine, Rachel," Buck said looking around the room.

"You look absolutely exhausted," Rachel observed. "You know you can talk to me right?"

"I know, but really I'm fine," he said and turned to the dish basin.

Rachel wasn't convinced, but she left the kitchen so Buck could finish up with the dishes. She had an idea that Buck would sneak out again tonight and she wanted to be ready to follow him. She took the time Buck was finishing up the dishes to saddle a horse and tie him around back of the house. She would be ready.

It wasn't too much later that night that Rachel heard the door to the barn squeak. She knew one of the boys was up. She watched carefully as Buck led his horse out of the barn. She let him get ahead a safe distance then rode her horse after him. It was hard in the dark to keep track of him and she knew if she got closer he would catch her. He usually knew when he was being watched or followed, but Rachel hoped he wouldn't be paying as close attention this time. She could see how exhausted he was. Judging by the frequency of missing food, Buck had been out every night this week. She had no idea if he was even sleeping when he went out at night. Rachel wondered what or perhaps who he was hiding.

Rachel saw the faint glow of a campfire and decided to stop her horse well away. This must be where Buck was going. She snuck through some brush and found a good place to watch from. She couldn't see everything clearly, but there was a man and he looked injured lying near the fire. Buck was reheating some of her stew and Rachel thought back to dinner. There wasn't any leftover because Cody finished it. Then she remembered that Buck didn't eat all of his. Come to think of it. Buck hadn't finished a meal in a week. The boy wasn't sleeping and he was sharing his food with the man in this meadow. Rachel looked around a well as she could. It was pretty open in the area where Buck was, but it was hidden by a lot of trees. Maybe she could come back tomorrow when Buck was out on a run or doing his chores. It seemed he needed help and he wasn't about to ask, but she would help anyways so that he didn't get hurt or make himself sick.

Rachel remounted her horse and left for the station. Morning would come soon enough and Rachel knew Buck was on the schedule for the short run this morning. It worried her, but if she could help out maybe he wouldn't be so secretive.

Rachel was already up and making breakfast when Buck returned. He looked so worn out, Rachel felt pity for him. She knew he wasn't going to get any sleep before his run. It made her more determined than ever to help. After Buck was gone and the riders were doing their chores, she would take a ride out to the hidden meadow she followed Buck to and see what was keeping that poor boy up and starving.

Buck took the handoff and Rachel could tell that she wasn't the only one concerned about Buck's welfare. She stopped sweeping the porch and looked over at the other riders. Ike watched, Jimmy watched, Kid and Lou watched, Noah watched, even Cody watched as Buck left the station. They all turned their attention to her when he was nothing but a dust cloud. They didn't have answers, but they had questions and concerns. They all looked to her to see if she'd seen it too.

Rachel propped her broom up against the porch wall and walked to the barn. She knew the riders all watched her go, and that a couple of them would feel compelled to follow her.

"What are you doing Rachel?" Cody asked as Rachel came out of the tack room with her saddle.

"I have an errand to run," Rachel said calmly. "I'll be back before dinner."

"Can I help you?" Jimmy asked.

"Sure, Jimmy," she said, "I need to pack a few things, so if you could finish saddling my horse and bring her up to the house I would appreciate it."

"I was thinking one of us could go with you?" Jimmy clarified.

"Oh that's not necessary," Rachel said. "I'll be back before you know it, besides you all have chores to do."

Jimmy nodded and took over saddling Rachel's mare.

Rachel went back up to the house and filled a saddlebag with some extra food she made and some medical supplies. When Jimmy led her horse up to the house, she climbed aboard and set out for the meadow.

Rachel stopped her horse just outside the tree line and dismounted. She didn't have a clear picture of who Buck was helping and didn't want to scare them away. She tethered her horse and started to move into the clearing. She could see where the campfire had been, but there was no one around. Rachel started to move toward the camp when she felt strong arms grab her from behind. He slipped his arm around her waist pinning her arms to her sides and a knife was held to her throat. Rachel gasped as the cold metal came into contact with the soft skin of her neck.

"Why have you come here?" a forceful voice asked.

"I came to see if someone needed help," Rachel said trying not to sound scared.

"Why would you think someone here needed help?" the voice asked again as his grip tightened and the knife pressed closer.

Rachel breathed in sharply. "I run the Pony Express station in Sweetwater," Rachel explained. "I followed one of my riders, Buck, out here last night. I was concerned about him. He's not sleeping or eating enough and I thought I could help. My name is Rachel Dunne."

Rachel felt the man's grip on her soften at the mention of Buck's name. She felt the arm around her waist release her, but only temporarily as her grabbed her right wrist and then her left with one of his hands. His knife lowered and he bound her wrists together. She didn't dare struggle. He led her to a tree near the camp area and tied her to the tree. After he tied her up he faced her by looking into her eyes.

Rachel's breathing quickened as she looked into the eyes of someone who could be Buck in ten years. He was an Indian, Rachel noted. He wore buckskins that were fringed. His hair was long and darker than Buck's with a piece of fur wrapped around one section of hair. The other side had a couple of feathers braided into it. He looked noble and carried himself as such. He looked to be some sort of relation to Buck. She wondered if this might be the older brother she had heard about from the other riders.

"I care about Buck," Rachel said, "He's like a younger brother to me."

The man did not say anything to her he just sat across the fire pit. Rachel took the time to look the man over. There was a bandage around his leg and he was holding his abdomen gingerly. Rachel surmised he was far from healed.

"I brought some food and bandages with me," she offered. "I can check your wounds."

The man did not move. "We will wait for Running Buck to return," he said gruffly. He said nothing more.

"The other riders will be looking for me if I'm not back soon," Rachel warned. She was silently cursing her insistence to Jimmy that she could handle this alone. "Please, I need to get back."

He did not answer.

They both waited through the day and into the night. Several times Rachel asked for water and was rebuffed with a look.

"You've bound my hands too tight," Rachel complained.

The man finally lit a campfire to keep them both warm and he laid down a rested uneasily. It was very late by the time they both heard a horse approach. The man got up and hid in the shadows of the trees and waited for whoever approached to reveal themselves. Rachel thought she heard a bird call from the new arrival and the man answered with a similar one. The both came into the light of the campfire, both with angry faces. Rachel felt herself relax as she recognized Buck come into the light. He looked over at her and gave her a weak smile.

Rachel strained her ears to hear, but Buck and the older Indian were speaking a language she did not understand. She could tell by the facial expressions and the tone of voice that they were arguing. Buck referred to her several times as his voice rose. Rachel thought he must be demanding her release. She flinched as the older Indian backhanded him across the face. The man must blame Buck for her presence. The older man winced when he struck Buck so he lay back down while Buck walked up to Rachel. Buck pulled his knife out of his boot and cut her bonds.

"Rachel, you need to leave," Buck said quietly.

She could see the sorrow in his face at being struck and his cheek was reddening. She gently raised her hand to his face seeing that the blow had also split his lip.

"Buck, you can't keep this up," Rachel said. "Let me help you."

"Rachel, the whole station is out looking for you," Buck said. "I can't let them find him."

"Who is he?" Rachel asked just wanting confirmation of her suspicions.

"My brother, Red Bear," Buck answered. "Please, the army is looking for him too. It isn't safe for you to be here."

"Buck I'm not going anywhere tonight," Rachel said defiantly. "You are about to drop from exhaustion and your brother needs tending. Now, I brought food and medicine and I'm going to take care of both of you, you hear?"

Buck's eyes narrowed, but his feelings of exhaustion and hunger were wearing on him.

"Yes ma'am," Buck said giving in. She was right he was about to drop from exhaustion.

"The food and bandages are in my saddle bags why don't you go get some water while I go get them."

Buck got up and retrieved the water and when he came back to camp. Rachel and Red Bear were locked in a stare down.

"Buck, tell your brother to let me look at his wounds," Rachel said.

Buck said something to Red Bear in an exasperated tone of voice and Red Bear in turn relaxed his opposition to being examined by Rachel. As Rachel changed the dressings on Red Bear's wounds, Buck went to his horse and retrieved his bed roll for Rachel. Rachel saw Buck slump against a tree and clutch his hand to his chest as if remembering a past injury. Rachel was concerned for her rider, but focused on her patient.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him," Rachel said as she cleaned Red Bear's leg wound. "He looks up to you."

"The white world is making him soft," Red Bear said pointedly. "He is not as vigilant as he should be."

"Oh, so you do speak English," she said. "I care about him and he's killing himself trying to help you."

Red Bear shifted his weight and looked defiantly at Rachel. It just made her more, angry.

"Look at him; he's exhausted," Rachel argued and pointed to a drowsy Buck, "Does he sleep when he's here? ...Because he isn't sleeping when he's at the station. He isn't getting enough to eat either. He's sharing his meals with you."

"I never asked him to do that," Red Bear defended.

"What did you ask?"

"I asked him to join me," Red Bear said importantly.

"He said he couldn't, didn't he?" Rachel asked more as a statement.

"How did you know?" Red Bear wondered.

"You really don't know your brother at all, do you?" Rachel asked dismissively.

"My brother is Kiowa," Red Bear announced, "That is the only thing I need to know."

"Look at him," Rachel said pointing to a soundly sleeping Buck. "He's half starved and he's pushed himself past exhaustion."

Red Bear started to squirm and move around trying to get a better physical position to argue from. Rachel took some satisfaction in his look of fury.

"Would you hold still?" Rachel admonished. "You've got so much dirt in this leg wound now it's a wonder it's not infected. He should have just brought you to the station, and then you'd both be getting enough rest and food."

Red Bear stilled himself and looked over at his sleeping brother. "What is it really like for him, in the white world?"

"Hasn't he ever told you?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Running Buck has never been a big talker," Red Bear said, "And I have never been too good at listening."

"He is an equal among the riders, Teaspoon, and me," Rachel said. "Those are the people that matter to him."

"What about others in the white world?" Red Bear asked. "Do they treat him as an equal?"

"Some do, but I won't lie, there are plenty folks that are afraid of him," Rachel said, "But most of the time he wins them over. There are people that are convinced he is just spying on the white folks for the Indians."

"Does he have a woman in the white world?" Red Bear asked.

"No, but he's had some chances," Rachel said and suddenly turned suspicious. "Why, all the questions about his welfare? I thought you kicked him out of the tribe."

"Just because I recognized his desire to remain in the white world, does not mean I stopped caring," Red Bear said.

"He does alright," Rachel said. "He rarely gets hurt or sick and he's really good at his job. The marshal also asks him to help find lost people and criminals. He is an asset to the town whether the town realizes it or not."

"He wanted to take me to your station, but I did not think it would be safe," Red Bear said.

"Why not?" Rachel asked, "The marshal is in charge of the riders and the other riders are really protective of Buck. They would have protected you."

"It was not me I was worried about," Red Bear revealed. "The white soldiers do not care who they hurt trying to get to me."

"Are soldiers the ones who hurt you?" Rachel asked gently.

Red Bear just nodded. "The soldiers have no honor," he said. "They wanted to speak peace and then opened fire on us as we approached."

"That's terrible," Rachel said.

Rachel finished bandaging Red Bear's leg and looked up at the bandaging around his rib cage. It was partially covered by his buckskin shirt.

"I should check those dressings too," Rachel said hesitantly indicating the bandages under his shirt. "Can you take your tunic off or shall I help you?"

Red Bear gingerly removed his buckskin shirt. Rachel looked at the bandages and decided they needed to be changed. Red Bear sat up and Rachel couldn't help but notice how muscular and nicely filled out Red Bear was. She bit her lip trying to ignore such thoughts but it was hard given how close she was to him. She couldn't keep her mind off of him as she unwound the bandages around him. She could feel his breathing on her neck and realized as she looked up at him that he was watching her intently. She suddenly felt nervous.

"I should get some salve I have to put on that wound," she said weakly. She stumbled on the hem of her riding skirt when she tried to get up and Red Bear deftly caught her. He held her a little longer than was necessary. Rachel went to her horse and grabbed the salve out of her saddlebag. She looked quickly over at Buck, who was still sound asleep and came back to Red Bear by the fire. Rachel set the salve done and grabbed a blanket and gently tucked Buck in for the night. She then came back and set to work on Red Bear's wound. A bullet had creased Red Bear's side and bandaging it would be necessary to keep dirt out. She felt a little uncomfortable rubbing the salve on his wound. It stung him a little when she put it on, but she could see something resembling conflict in his eyes as she touched his bare skin.

Redressing the wound proved as difficult for Rachel as removing the bandages. Her proximity to Red Bear was making her think all sorts of inappropriate thoughts and seeing her thoughts mirrored in his eyes made her uneasy. She looked over at Buck again to make sure he was still sleeping. That boy was the lightest sleeper she knew, but he looked pretty heavily asleep now.

"Why do you look after him?" Red Bear asked curiously. "You should have a man and a family."

"The boys and Teaspoon are my family," Rachel said as she finished bandaging Red Bear's torso. "I had a husband once, but he died."

"You are still young, you could take another," Red Bear observed.

"The right one hasn't come along yet," Rachel sighed. "What about you? Do you have a family that is missing you?"

"No, Running Buck and my tribe are my only family now," Red Bear said with sadness in his voice.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said.

Red Bear waved off her sympathy and started to move into a more relaxing position now that Rachel had finished re-bandaging his wounds. He was finding it difficult to move without pain.

"Here let me help you," Rachel said grabbing his arm and helping him recline.

Rachel found that her face was just inches away from Red Bear's. Her eyes turned up and met with his. He was looking at her with a mix of curiosity and lust. It made Rachel almost uncomfortable, but at the same time she felt herself draw closer. Just when she started to turn away she felt Red Bear's hand on the edge of her cheek. It brushed along her lower jaw on its way to her hair. She adjusted her gaze back to his eyes and saw a longing there that she recognized in her own eyes every day since Henry died. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her mouth was suddenly dry. The tension was starting to get to her. She needed to either kiss him or get out of there. Just when she thought she could leave, Red Bear pressed his lips to hers. All thoughts of escape suddenly became abandoned as she felt herself relax into the kiss. Her lips parted slightly inviting him to taste her more fully.

Rachel wasn't prepared for how kissing Red Bear would make her feel. It was like a bolt of lightning surged through her. There was no hesitation in Red Bear's kiss only a strong confidence. It made her weak in the knees. She found her arms snaking around his neck, resting into his long silky hair, and pulling him closer. A light breeze hit her skin and it was then she realized that Red Bear had deftly unbuttoned her blouse and chemise. She closed her eyes and moaned softly as she felt his hands caressing the curves of her bare skin. She knew she should put an end to this, but it felt so good to be touched this way. It had been such a long time.

There was a slight sound and Red Bear suddenly broke the kiss off. Rachel opened her eyes and saw that dawn was just starting to break. She followed Red Bear's gaze to see that Buck was up and gone. Surely he had seen them.

"I am sorry," Red Bear said pulling away from her. "I should not have…"

"No, it's alright," Rachel said quickly and started to button her chemise and blouse. She thought now would be a very good time to rustle up some breakfast.

Rachel went to where her horse was tethered and found Buck there getting the horses ready. He wouldn't look at her he just made sure the cinches were tight.

"We should go," Buck said to the ground. "Everyone at the station is worried about you."

"I think we should all eat something before we leave," Rachel suggested.

"I'm not hungry," Buck said quickly.

"Buck…" Rachel said trying to catch his eye.

"I don't want to talk about it, Rachel," Buck said turning his back. "I'll wait for you just outside the trees."

Rachel returned to the camp and made sure Red Bear had what he needed for the day.

"I'll be back later to check on you, if that's alright," she said.

"I look forward to it," Red Bear said and smiled.

Their gazed lingered on each other for a moment. They both seemed taken by surprise with the other. Rachel couldn't help but smile as she turned. She didn't know what any of this would ever come to, but for now she felt desired and beautiful.

Rachel rode her horse up to where Buck was waiting. He still wouldn't look at her but his head was not down. It was up and looking all around as if waiting for someone to sneak up on them.

"Rachel, what are you doing?" Buck asked wearily looking everywhere but her face.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Rachel answered sharply, allowing her smile to fade and anger to creep into her face.

"He's my brother," Buck said, "And he's a Kiowa war chief with responsibilities."

"He's also a man," Rachel reminded him and then sighed angrily, "I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Fine," Buck said. He remained silent for the rest of the trip home.

When they arrived at the station, Rachel saw the rest of the riders and Teaspoon, were in the middle of saddling their horses in order to search for her. She realized the spot she put Buck in. She got off her horse and Buck took them both to the barn to take care of them.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked pretending she didn't know.

"We thought you was missing," Teaspoon answered for the group. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, Teaspoon," Rachel answered. "I just ran an errand and ended up helping out a friend. I'm sorry if I worried you."

"We're just glad you're alright," Teaspoon said with a smile. "Aren't we boys?"

A chorus of yeses rang out as the riders all settled into their morning chores.

"Well, I better get some breakfast on," Rachel said awkwardly.

After breakfast, Teaspoon announced to the boys and Lou that they were going to go out horse trading today and Rachel felt a smile creep up on her lips. She could go visit Red Bear and make sure he was alright without having to sneak out in the dead of night. She looked over the boys and her smile faded. Buck was wearing an angry look and as soon as she caught his eye he looked away. She knew the two of them had to talk this out at some point, but this wasn't the time or place for that.

After Teaspoon and the riders left, Rachel gathered some more supplies and saddled up a horse. She felt nervous at the thought of seeing Red Bear again. The last time she felt this way was when she married Henry Dunne. It had been such a transition for her then. She was a grifter going from riverboat to riverboat, cheating men out of money at a poker table. For a long time she didn't think she could earn an honest living. Meeting Henry and then Teaspoon had changed all that. She made sure the riders we fed and cared for. It was a simple life, but one she was proud of. Kissing this man right now felt so right, but his world was foreign to her. She didn't know what these kisses meant. Surely there wasn't time for them to mean anything. She was careful as she rode and made sure no one followed her. She looked around carefully and came into the hidden meadow. She loved everything about this place. It was open and secluded at the same time.

Rachel tethered her horse and grabbed her saddle bags and slowly walked into the meadow. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around only to be swept into a searing kiss. The saddlebags she was carrying were now lying discarded on the ground. She could tell Red Bear was moving better today as he led her to an area where he rested. She hadn't noticed before that he had slept on a bed of soft furs. Red Bear pulled her down to the soft pallet and began to finish what the two of them had started the previous night. Their clothes were quickly making a pile on the ground while the two of them kissed and explored each other's bodies. Rachel's breathing was ragged. At one point she started questioning what she was doing out here in the middle of a meadow in the arms of a man she hardly knew, but it had been so long since she felt this way. She craved feeling this way and she trusted this man. She let the passion consume her as the two of them made love.

Rachel snuggled into Red Bears side and thought about the afternoon they just spent together. She had no regrets until reality started to settle into her mind. She wasn't about to leave Sweetwater and live with Indians and Red Bear did not look like he was itching to move into the white world either. They were an impossible couple. They only existed here in this place. It was a space that was almost between both of the worlds. Maybe they could just stay here and figure it out.

Rachel felt Red Bear tense beneath her.

"What is it?" Rachel whispered.

"Someone is coming," Red Bear whispered back. He pulled on his leggings and breech cloth and headed toward the noise he heard.

Rachel began to dress as Red Bear stalked off into some bushes. He came back a couple minutes later with a horse Rachel hadn't even known was there. Red Bear walked to her and she had a sinking feeling that she knew what he was about to say.

"I need to return to my people," Red Bear said as he hugged her close. "The soldiers are close and I am well enough now to travel."

Rachel watched with increasing emotion, the man she was quickly falling in love with mount his horse. She didn't want him to leave.

"Come with me," Red Bear said offering his hand to Rachel.

Rachel furrowed her brow and smiled rather reluctantly. "I can't go with you," she said looking up and into his face. There were parts of her that wanted to grab his hand and jump onto the back of that horse with him, but their bond was not that strong yet. She had responsibilities here. She weakly grabbed his hand in goodbye and gave it a small squeeze.

"I know, I should never have asked that of you," Red Bear said. "You belong here."

"Do you think we will ever meet again?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"I do not know," Red Bear said. "I did not expect to see my brother again and yet I did."

Rachel reluctantly let her hand drop as Red Bear rode away. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She didn't know why she was being so emotional. They only knew each other for a day. Rachel sat, pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. She just watched out over the landscape hoping Red Bear had gotten away safe.

Rachel almost didn't notice when someone sat next to her.

"He's gone, isn't he?" Buck said more than asked.

"Yeah, he is," Rachel answered.

"Are you alright?" Buck asked.

Rachel was quiet for a few seconds. "No, not really," she said quietly and tried to keep her tears from falling.

Buck put his arm around Rachel to comfort her. "I'm sorry about before," he said. "It wasn't my place."

"You don't need to apologize to me," Rachel said swallowing her tears. She stood up and smoothed out her riding skirt. "I should get back to the station and get a start on supper."

Rachel mounted her horse and rode for the station as Buck looked on.

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**A/N I may write more short stories about this couple...I don't have any great ideas for another one yet, but I really like them together.**


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